Thoughts For the Letter Writing

Recently Pat and I talked about what Don said about his experience of our combined letter writing.

These were the last and most horrific days, of course, as the ALS Sufferer particularly, systematically loses the use of all of his body extremities, so it was important that the right person for this, a trusted intimate person, be open to being compassionately empathetic and communicate about Those feelings as they come.

Pat was the right person to listen to Don’s feelings. I would have done this too, but he did not write back to me. I purposely made it my Mission to vicariously share with Don and didn’t expect him to write back at all. It was just my gift to him to share normal real life, the day to day.

I do believe that the Universe set up all three of us to learn what we needed to learn separately about this Letter Writing Mission, so the whole of the service could be accomplished with whichever was possible for the letter writer. We got a Crash Course and all the Details quickly for this whole Mission!

A friend who used to be a Life Flight Nurse but is now a Home Health Nurse had a patient who had ALS. I mentioned the Mission to him in all of the details and he was able to suggest to his patient’s college children to write vicarious letters to their father. It made a huge difference to this man’s family! The father got to share his children’s experience and the children were able to have their last year be one of intimate closeness with their dad. Isn’t that marvelous! This Mission is just one of communicating in love, honesty, compassion, humor and appreciation. Truly an opportunity to bless another and make a huge difference.

 

 

 

 

 

Positive Thoughts for Don and Now Centering

 

As Don’s life progressed, he found himself in unhappy circumstances and I was a person he would talk with when he was sometimes dealing with Depression.

I was in Unity and as I mentioned studied with a Zen Master, so I was trying to practice Meditation as well as metaphysical thinking (beyond the physical thinking), which dealt with positive affirmations.  Don was open to my offerings of positive affirmations. He was a most unusual person to give these ideas to because he usually entirely understood the process right away.  He would practice the specifics fully and easily during that particular time and would feel better for two or three weeks.

This also was the same for Meditation which is notoriously very challenging to understand and practice. For me it took many years to be able quiet my mind. Don on the other hand, dropped into it right away fully understanding the process. That was a surprise to me!

Now as I have progressed, I have consistently wanted to get to an easier, faster way of Meditation and so try every simplification that crosses my path.  Here is the Very Easiest one I have come across. It is from Abraham-Hicks, a group of non-physical beings, who teach Meditation this way paraphrased from my memory. I use it daily:

Find a quiet place. The posture does not matter, what matters is to be as comfortable as possible. I use this technique lying down or sitting up.

I think of it as “Putting my mind on Pause”, which is not a new idea, but one that works for me. So, I am comfortable, breathing and focusing as high in my head as I can, or beyond my head if possible, with just the idea of putting my mind on Pause. I just ignore any thoughts that come forth and rest in Pause.  When my body gives me the indication that I am not in control, but something else is, and this will always be with more and more intense feelings of Joy as I continue to just let my mind be on Pause, then I Know I am Connected with my Higher Self. This is my personal connection with Source, God, the Divine or however the Highest is translated to you. 

When I come out of Meditation, still in the feelings of Joy and Connection, then and only then do I ask questions that pertain to my life. I have found that when I ask these questions then, I either know my right answer immediately or I don’t get an answer right t but because I have asked my Highest Self, my Source that knows all for me, without trying to control the outcome, I am able to trust that I will know the correct answer for me when it is presented somehow in life. That means I can relax and just wait for the right answer to come.

This is a very freeing and simple this way of Meditation that definitely works! It is possible for anyone to do it truly. The good feelings that come from Meditation are wonderful to bask in and the answers that come forth are priceless. I hope you will give it a chance.

 

Some Background About Don

Don was/is a very special person. He came to Earth that way; sensitive, kind, creative, compassionate, humble and funny. 

Don wanted very much to benefit the world through kindness. He was able to do this to a great extent with me, but others abused him mercilessly for what they viewed as weakness. Eventually, this world view undermined him so much that his body succumbed to his dreaded ALS experience.

I have lovely memories of Don as he actively participated in my childhood for the purpose of acting as a good father. Our father was consistently rejecting, self-absorbed and unavailable emotionally and used me as his special scapegoat which particularly enraged Don. Don on the other hand was unfailingly kind, inclusive and supportive of me. 

A memory of an unusual kind happened when I tearfully left my Zen Master whom I had been studying with for two years.

The situation started off in a strange way for me, I had no intention of moving on but began having dreams of me traveling to the mountains.  (I am open to guidance from dreams and pay close attention to them, so I was wondering what this foretold for my future). A few days later our Aunt from Alaska, Aunt Evelyn, came through town needing a second driver to drive her car with her to Alaska because she had developed a medical condition, water on the knee she called it. This condition did not allow her to push the gas pedal on the car for very long at a time. Alaska is a long way from the Bay Area in California so I knew she really needed me.

I volunteered but to my dismay my Zen Master said if I went to Alaska, I would be out of the Zen Group! Since I had the mountain dreams, I felt this was true Guidance from my Divine so I elected to go. I was then asked to turn in my coveted robe signifying the group. 

Don came up with a solution that actually had me smiling through my tears, He went to the attic and got a beautifully wrapped gift box, with shiny expensive paper for the lid and placed my clean, ironed robe in it for delivery. A poignant gift example, elucidation, back to the Master for letting me go. I felt it was such a perfect illustration of enlightened modeling for my Zen Master. It made me laugh in appreciation for Don.

 Don, kindness personified… I have many other memories of his special consideration for me. I was his special little sister and he always acted with special understanding and love for me. This actually continues to this day, which you will see…

Don and Pat – The Early Days with Me

Don met Pat in High School in Drama Class. She knew immediately what a special loving person he was. Of course, Pat has very unusual abilities which I will expound on later… Let’s just say she has a sixth sense about people.

They became an official couple on New Year’s Eve with their first kiss. Pat with her sensitivities encouraged Don and he blossomed in relationship with her creatively. He started drawing a Comic Strip called World of Woggles, he began writing his marvelous stories down and exceled in Marshal Arts, Drama and walking a slack rope (a tight rope only slack which requires exceptional balance). Don was vulnerable with Pat and he trusted her above all people.

Of course, he introduced me and I immediately loved Pat. She was sweet, kind, beautiful, quiet… just a loving presence. She liked having me around and Don and she would sometimes take me on dates with them.

I remember one funny date where we went to Berkeley, California (a half hour from where we lived). I was just 13, Don 18 and Pat 16. Don walked around with each arm around one of us and we laughed as we got looks from bystanders, Don with these two sweet young things. That was just a joy for me to be included with them and to have a private joke!

Pat and I became very close. I wanted her for my sister-in-law and the plan was for Don and her to marry when she got out of High School. Both families were open to this at that time, so all was well.

Don was then drafted into the Army to participate in the Viet Nam War. He tested so highly on the written tests that he was placed into the Special Forces (the espionage type placement for the Army), and began training.  

During one training installment Don was further away from the rest of his Company and a bomb went haywire. This resulted in all of the rest of his buddies in his Company being severely burned! He loved all of these guys and this affected him deeply. His feeling was “My Government will not protect me and I am being trained to Kill people!” 

Because of this experience, he developed severe PTSD. As his Company was being transported, he had a mental breakdown and jumped off the truck. The Army Personnel recognized he was not a candidate to continue to serve in the War and Don was honorably discharged from the Army.

When Don got back home, he was still deeply suffering from PTSD. He was especially troubled one day and begged his friend to take him to Pat’s. He felt she was the only one who would understand. His friend did take him to Pat’s.

When they arrived her father and mother were deeply disturbed at Don’s outburst of his feelings. Pat wanted to let him in the house, but her father held a gun in overreaction to Don’s presence. Eventually our Mom was called by Pat and she and I went over to retrieve Don from Pat’s hostile household. 

After this Pat’s parents, knowing how much Pat loved him and wanted to get to him, put bars on the windows of the house and made her write a letter saying she never loved Don and to never contact her again.  Of course, this was not her true feelings at all. Don was the love of her life, she the love of his, and this continues to be to this day even with Don being on the Other Side. Love for Don and Pat is very real, ongoing and very grand as you will see continued in the future.

How The Mission Came About

Don’s Writing Mission

By Catherine Frink

Life delivers hardship to the sweetest people, doesn’t it? This happened to my beloved brother when ALS consumed him.

ALS is a disease that prohibits signals from reaching the body; all movement stops, except that the person can blink their eyes. However, their mind is absolutely clear, so they are aware of it all.

I lived 2,500 miles away when I heard that this was Don’s horrifying fate. I desperately prayed to ease my brother’s progressively sad days. The answer came to send him daily letters on pretty paper, allowing him to share my life without writing back. I purchased a beautiful hardcover journal with lines and lovely drawings, adding scissors and stamped envelopes, and tucked them into my car to write while on the move.

At the same time, my brother’s first love, Pat, whom I knew and loved, also found out Don had ALS. She received the same idea: to send him a letter every day. Pat sent memories from their relationship, clinical trial information, and natural supplements. Don wrote back to her through hospice volunteers who came to help. We were not aware we were both writing him at the same time.

Don eventually died, and a few weeks later I received a letter from Pat, which told me how Don had come to Pat, telling her that our writing to him gave him a wonderful quality of life for his last horrific years. He confessed that before we started writing to him, he had spent his days contemplating how to commit suicide.

He asked if Pat would contact me and if we would make it our life’s mission to tell this story of writing daily so that fellow ALS sufferers – or anyone with an isolating, debilitating disease – would receive the same love he had.

Don said because of our writing, he knew we loved him and he loved us. He was included and had something special to look forward to every day.

Pretty paper, envelopes, a book of stamps and willingness is all it takes to change horror into heartfelt quality of life, according to Don. Simple, loving, kind: a mission anyone can do.

Catherine Frink loves to dance and paint, and her joy is to spread Don’s Writing Mission through telling the story to every person who will listen. She does bunches of push-ups when she feels like it, and once in a while, she’ll even do up to 115 without stopping.